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Have you ever tried to let go of unwanted feelings, but were unable to? What happens is that your emotions get stuck at a certain point and it becomes hard to transition yourself past the hurt and pain.  Ultimately, you hold on to these feelings without even realizing it and think that you have no choice or control over how you feel.  The reality is that you do have control.

Ask yourself this question. “Can I let go of this feeling?”  If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, “When?”If you can say, “Now” then you are on the way to controlling your feelings.

Feelings are always choices.  Nobody can make you feel angry, hurt, or sad.  “You make me so angry,” is an expression we all use.  However, it’s really a decision you make, based on your past experiences and belief system.  Quite simply, your feelings become habits and your responses to what happens to you are driven by blind reason and habitual behavior. 

The goal is to control how you feel so that you keep yourself inspired, joyful and content, especially at this stage of your life, where you may be facing many unexpected challenges.  The bottom line is that it feels good to feel good and you must do everything in your power to maintain that condition. Here are some things to do to help you control your feelings:

1. Distract yourself.  The more you dwell on negative feelings, the more they will grow in your mind, causing you to act and react a certain way.  Instead, give yourself a new thought to think about that is more pleasant and calming.  Stay with that thought for a minute and your mood and state of mind will change.

2. Consider how long you are “willing” to stay in your negative headspace.  Is it an hour, a day or even longer?  If you can put a time frame around it, when the time is over, you can move on.

3. Tap into how your emotions are affecting you physically.  If you have too many strong negative thoughts, they will work like a disease to weaken your resistance and cause you unwelcomed illnesses. Are you experiencing unusual headaches, digestive problems, skin rashes?  If so, your body may be reacting to your resisting mind.

Do you dream of greater freedom and more opportunities for pleasure and fulfillment?  But are you feeling drained, unmotivated, anxious and fatigued or feeling empty inside?  Could it be that your life is so overwhelming that it’s hard to get unstuck and think about yourself?

Some people see “50 as the new 40”, but if you’re having trouble accepting that, it may be time to reinvent who you are and how your life is going. So how do you change your life?    Thinking about changing and wanting to make changes, is very different from doing something about it.  It’s like leaving a motivational seminar all psyched and excited, but with no intention of following through with anything discussed.  Remember you are limited only by your imagination and to make a real difference, you must take purposeful action.

The first step, therefore, is to be open and receptive to alternative ways of thinking.  Don’t discount somebody’s opinion because it doesn’t coincide with your personal taste.  When you step out of your comfort zone, you can explore more challenging, out-of-the-box strategies that may actually move you to a higher level.

Your journey towards change always begins with a single step.  You can’t wait for something to push you along, because the drive and intention must come from you.  Here are some suggestions that might help you begin your transformation

1.Write down 5 things you would like to happen in your life, in the next week, month and even year.

2.Ask yourself the right questions like, “What do I need to do to get me closer to this goal? What one thing can I do immediately?  What must I do consistently?

3.Visualize yourself already there.  Create the picture, feel it and hold it intently in your mind.

4.Trust that the energy you are putting out in your thoughts and in your behaviors will magnificently create exactly what you want.  Therefore, keep your thoughts steadfast on your goals and not on any obstacles you may face.

It is important to stay motivated, but even more important to have the actions you take be transformational.  With that in mind, don’t waste time doing things that get you nowhere.  In fact, every step you take should increase, not decrease the extent of your possibilities.  The secret to reinventing yourself is understanding that all your experiences are a reflection of what you tell yourself.  Therefore, every thought has the power to shatter your dreams or transform your life and the greatest gift you have is to choose a positive mind-set that is filled with possibility.

A famous Chinese proverb states, “The person who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”  This means that each small action you take brings you closer to your dream.  If you don’t do something to control your life now, someone or something surely will.  The greatest tragedy of life is not that it’s too short, but that you wait too long to begin it.