Self-Improvement - THE JOY OF OPTIMISM

Flipswitch

How many times have you been in a “bad” mood and had a hard time getting out of it? I’m sure it happens more often than you realize. I have a simple technique that is foolproof and guarantees that you will feel better immediately. I can’t take credit for it, though. It was first presented to me by Dr. Robert Anthony, author of “The Secret of Deliberate Creation.” This is how it works. When you have a negative feeling, it causes a negative vibration, which is very difficult to change. However, once you identify those feelings, you can “flipswitch” to something else that will make you feel much better.

All you do is ask yourself if feeling bad is going to make your situation better. If not, then find some positive feeling, thought, incident, or memory and keep that thought in mind, for the moment. That thought will cancel out the negative thought. Flipswitching from the negative to the positive becomes easier the more you do it. The trick is to notice as soon as you start feeling bad so you can immediately turn that thought around with something more uplifting.

I’ve used it a number of times recently. I thought I was catching a cold and when I worry about it, it makes me feel worse. So instead of being concerned about getting a cold, I used the power of flipswitch and focused instead on something more pleasant. I like to think about the baby alligators I saw in a nature preserve, or the waterfalls I saw in Hawaii. Both make me feel good and at peace and allow me to stop focusing on what I most fear. By changing my thought I don’t allow the negativity to take hold, increasing the chances for my day to progress more positively. And by the way, I didn’t get a cold.

So, you’ll notice that your mood changes immediately when you become aware of your own personal power. This is how you stay in control instead of dwelling on what you don’t want. Your vibrational pattern will change, your mood will change and circumstances won’t seem as bad as you thought they were.

Negative thoughts are like a disease and only you allow yourself to be infected with it. Practice this exercise and flipswitch your thoughts so you shift in the direction of what you truly want.

Don’t Let Fear Undermine Your Life

Anybody can get bad news regarding their health, marriage, work, kids, etc. No one is immune. But there is some wisdom you can live by to overcome the fears that are associated with any devastating news.

The key is to get in touch with your fears and then eliminate them. This will enable you to function with greater control and with more trust in yourself. Here are some steps you can take.

First you want to separate yourself from your thoughts and the situation. If you can know that you WILL be alright, you will be. Things will work out in the end and you will persevere, if you realize that relaxing and not giving in to the fears is the way to go. Fear stagnates you, keeps you from performing and prevents you from thinking clearly. Getting yourself centered and at a place where things appear to be OK will enable your mind and body to flow towards just that – creating favorable results.

Instead of rehearing the worst scenario of a situation, visualize the best and celebrate it. Keep your focus on what you want, rather than on the way it appears. Not only does that reduce some of your fears, but it also sets you up for more positive outcomes.

You are stronger than you think. Everyday your body is revitalizing and rejuvenating itself, which means that you are becoming stronger and stronger with each moment of each day. Take control of your life through added knowledge and support and you will feel stronger and capable of handling anything that comes your way.

Pray. I know this comes easier for some than for others, but prayers are answered. Wake up each morning, expecting something wonderful to happen and you’ll be surprised at how many gloriously, wonderful things will come your way.

Even with your fears, you can still be happy. Resolve to find joy, love and pleasure somewhere at all cost, because it’s that important. Uncertainty can be very damaging. But remember, that anything is possible. Miracles happen all the time. Why not be one of them!!You were not put on this earth to suffer or be miserable so don’t give in to it. Pledge to be more mindlful of the magnificence of the universe. Dreams do come true, situations do turn themselves around, and you can become the cause of your renewed, happiness and peace. What is fear? Fear is Flow, Expectation, Amazement and Renewal

Be Your Authentic Self

The greatest gift you can give to yourself, your family, friends and acquaintances, is to be yourself. You are a unique individual, who has strengths and weaknesses, personality traits that characterize you, experiences that have challenged you, and talents that celebrate you.

You never want to diminish or underplay your gifts or overemphasize your imperfections. It is not helpful to others when you underestimate your own capabilities or be someone else on their behalf. Therefore, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do you get caught up doing the “right” thing because of someone else’s expectations?

2. Are you intentionally hiding special qualities about yourself so you won’t stand out?

3. Can you be yourself even if others disapprove of you?

Your goal is to be more accepting, appreciative and accommodating of yourself. Does it really matter what others think? It seems pointless to try to please everyone because in the end, you harm your own personal development and glowing spark of self-confidence.

Does this mean you shouldn’t trust someone else’s opinion? Of course, not. You always want to be socially accepted, but be sure you are among people whose values are like yours and who have your best interest in mind.

Therefore, take the time to examine your life and all the choices you have made. Learn to be comfortable with what you have, yet be flexible enough to take on new ideas, learning from others and from your past.

When you learn the lessons and continue to grow, you are no longer defined by a moment in your past or a period of time that you believe still describes who you are. Instead, you begin to develop your own sense of style, expression, and individuality and that becomes who you are today.

Always strive to be the best version of you that you can be. With pride and strong belief, tell yourself how special, wonderful and worthwhile you are and use the following mantra (Author Unknown) as your guide:

I choose…

To live by choice, not by chance

To make changes, not excuses

To be motivated, not manipulated

To be useful, not used

To excel, not compete

I choose self-esteem, not self-pity

I choose to listen to my inner voice, not random opinions of others.

Be yourself. Who is there better to be?

The Power of a Single Word

Words are very powerful. Say something mean and hurtful in anger and it may be difficult to take back or forget. But say something kind when someone needs it most and you are a savior and inspiration. Words, therefore, are very powerful and must be chosen wisely and with much thought.

In your marriage, conversations between you and your spouse can build your relationship or break it down. With mindfulness, you can practice good listening skills and effective responses that will encourage appreciation, respect and good-will with your partner. Or, you can always have an agenda and create divisions, animosity, loneliness and despair.

There are a few specific skills and techniques you can learn so that the words you use express exactly what you want to say and what you hope your partner understands. Here are some suggestions:

Pay attention to how the conversation is going. Are you engaged with gestures like nodding, smiling and making encouraging short phrases like, “Okay,” “No kidding!,” “Is that right?” or “I hear you?”
Repeat what is said by paraphrasing so your partner knows you get it. “So what I hear you saying is…” or “Do you mean …” Then clarify the conversation with questions like, “Is this your point when you say …? You’ll be amazed at how often we misinterpret what is being said and need concrete clarification to get the information straight.
Never assume anything, especially that the other person knows what you are thinking or feeling. Check back and clarify if you’re being “heard” using the active listening technique sited above.
Don’t be on a mission to always be right! Some issues do not have a black-and-white right and wrong to them. Always ask yourself the question: Would I rather be right – or loved! People who fight to be right all the time and can never accept another viewpoint make poor relationship partners. If you are that person, your relationship is heading towards disaster. Don’t be that person – or get into a relationship with someone like that!
Your body language includes your tone of voice and cadence and continuously sends messages to your partner. Nothing has a greater impact on a relationship than the “wordless” messages you send. This information is vital to keeping your relationship strong and healthy. You may not always be aware of what upsets your partner, so be alert to how your actions and body language might look from their perspective.
Give those closest to you the benefit of the doubt, by remembering positive things about them and by not being too critical. This is most difficult with people who have hurt you. It’s very important to build a loving, trusting connection with another person, but it is even more satisfying to build it through respect, friendship and integrity. In other words, be the catalyst to heal any poor relationships. The more you are aware of your part in the relationship, the more you can remedy any shortcomings you may have, through your actions and your words.

Remember, words have a way of connecting people or dividing them.Most people in your life may forget what you said or even forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel! Will your words belittle the other person? Will you be inflicting emotional pain through your comments? These are important factors to consider.

Your choice of words can prevent a heart from breaking, or ruin a friendship that has lasted over 20 years. So, let your words be a source of comfort, support, encouragement, peace and love – and you’ll be a better person because of it. The effort you make to communicate better takes patience, but the outcome is usually very positive and rewarding.

Love The One You’re Always With

You remember the song by Crosby, Stills and Nash, “Love the One You’re With?” Well, I believe it’s impossible to do that unless you love the one you’re always with — and that is YOU. It makes it truly hard to love someone else, when you don’t feel lovable or capable of being loved.

You would think that baby boomers would be past the insecurities and low self-esteem of their youth and be able to feel confident in their own skin. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. After all, you can lose your job, be insulted, have a failed marriage and feel inadequate just like everyone else and it doesn’t matter that you’re older feeling that way.

Let’s find out how you can truly love yourself.

1. You don’t have to be tall, thin and beautiful to feel beautiful. There are plenty of average looking women and men who feel comfortable with whom they are and are able to exude an air of satisfaction, confidence and esteem when they walk into a room. You know them, because you are attracted to their energy. Are you that person? If not, decide to be one, because what’s most important is how you present yourself to the world, not how you think you look.

2. Be the best person you can be – to your friends, to your partner, to family members, co-workers and acquaintances. In other words, are you sincere, friendly, authentic and a person of integrity? If you are, you can feel proud of yourself, because people are looking for that and that should make you feel good.

3. Ask yourself if you would be attracted to someone just like you. If not, examine what you don’t like about yourself and find out why. Then turn into the person you would most like to have as a friend.

4. Be kinder and gentler to yourself. Acknowledge the effort you put into things, even if the results are not always what you want. The fact that you try is a great asset. It also builds confidence that you can make important changes towards your desired goals and shows you are a person who doesn’t give in easily.

5. Spend time being more peaceful, compassionate, spiritual and aware. You will naturally love yourself in the process.

6. Pay attention to your health because that means you care enough about yourself to be mindful and concerned.

The bottom like is this: However you look, whatever you say and whatever you do is reflecting your authentic self and is the perfect YOU. Virginia Satir says, “I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me and I am Okay.”

How to be Comfortable Being Alone

Eleanor Roosevelt, once said, “No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.”Those are powerful words. An empowered woman knows that the most important relationship in her life is with herself. To find someone you like is great, but to like yourself is even greater. To respect others with admiration and love is important, but it is more vital to believe in yourself and all the good in life that you deserve. You should be the judge of your own worth and value. You should feel comfortable with yourself, whether alone or with someone else.

In other words, being alone can be fun, rewarding, relaxing, exhilarating and rejuvenating. If you are comfortable with who you are and where you are at, being alone can be truly special. Alone time is a time to regroup from a hard day’s work. It’s a time to explore and examine what you like and what you don’t like. It’s a time to build upon your strengths and revitalize those weak areas that need improving.

All this cannot be done as easily when your significant other is around or when you are relating to your partner’s issues or concerns. Apparently, there needs to be a time and a place for both. But when you have the opportunity to “just be yourself,” to have some quiet time, to be grateful for the simple things, then you know that you are grounded and okay with yourself.

Throughout your lifetime you should continue growing and learning from your relationship with yourself. Understand your depth of character and personality because this adds to your growth. Make sure that your appreciation of yourself is strong so that when you do meet someone special, the love you give and the love you receive will enhance the terrific person you know yourself to be.

You’re Special: Treat Yourself With Care

Woman reaching for the stars Throughout the day, do you ask yourself what you can do to enhance your well-being? Probably not, since most people will think it selfish and self-centered. The problem with that kind of thinking is that when you love and care for yourself, it inevitably helps everyone around you and positively impacts your world.

Love for your family and friends starts with your inner peace and contentment. So, it’s so important to refuel daily with moments of silence or laughter to recharge emotionally and physically.

Here are some effective ways you can treat yourself with special care and thoughtfulness:

Be forgiving and tolerant – cruel words will hurt you, insensitivities will annoy you, but do you want to have that the focus of your daily life? Of course not. Therefore, let the little things go and the big things push aside for later. You are worthy of a joyous day that is not impacted by the actions of others.

Appreciate and be grateful – let acts of kindness into your heart with graciousness and acceptance. After all, don’t you deserve it? The next time someone gives you a gift, a compliment or some help, accept it and simply say, “Thank you.”

Control your life, not everyone else’s – people are not going to act like you want them to. But you can always act with integrity, compassion, kindness, etc. in spite of them. This is how you maintain responsibility for yourself and positively influence your relationships.

Reduce your stress – say “no” more often, delineate tasks and BREATH. Be sure enjoyment plays some part in your day so that anger, frustration or sadness do not prevent you from feeling good.

– explore your own avenues for joy and fulfillment and take the risks to get there.

When you break through your inhibitions about caring for yourself and incorporate some of these wise and effective behaviors, you will naturally attract more love and caring into your life. It’s the deep and long-lasting feeling of peace and contentment that you deserve, and that you want, that makes it easy to be more mindful and caring of yourself.

Do You Possess The Mindset Of Positive People?

As you age, you sometimes become jaded because you’ve been through so much. However, it’s important to realize that the same attention you pay to negative things can be better spent refocusing your thoughts on the positive. There is no point holding on to negative images when they only create more self-doubt, guilt and suffering in your life. Can you let these thoughts go, allowing yourself to move in the direction of happiness, joy and optimism?

Positive people are able to maintain their focus no matter what the circumstance or situation. They stay optimistic by creating personal stepping stones to help get them past their occasional stumbling blocks. They are able to do this because they possess the following characteristics, which are easily learned and, through awareness, they indoctrinate into their life.

They have a set of values and do not compromise their integrity to get what they want. Rather they maintain their strong principles and beliefs, which keep them feeling good about themselves and what they are doing.
Positive people hang around with a network of like-minded individuals who support, encourage and energize them to stay motivated and accountable.
The key to staying healthy and keeping one’s mind alert is a willingness to constantly learn and grow. The most positive people are the ones who keep their knowledge base open so they never stagnate, physically or mentally.
It’s important to project confidence wherever you go. Positive people keep doubt and insecurity out of their realm of consciousness, believing in themselves and their potential.
Positive people step out of their comfort zone to take healthy risks, resulting in more opportunities and better outcomes. They are not afraid to try new techniques, new tools, and practice different strategies, with the intent of reaching greater heights.
Habits become part of your subconscious mind are no longer questioned. Optimism is a way of thinking that positive people internalize.
Positive people have a compelling vision and plan for their future. They have a clear blueprint or outline of what they want and everyday they do something to bring it closer to reality.
It’s always good to believe that it is within your control to shape the outcome of your life and that you are not the victim of chance circumstance. Positive people are willing to put in the effort necessary to make things happen for their greater good.

How many can you relate to?

You can’t change your past, but you can change and embrace the future with openness and optimism. All it takes is a willingness to try a new way of thinking and perhaps a new way of “being”. What better way to live your life than by feeling good, hopeful and optimistic about what lies ahead!